In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
