He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
