Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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