He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
