I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Your dad touched me again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
