I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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