I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
