Christians are straight up FREAKS
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
