after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
