worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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