For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
