Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
