We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
