Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
