Nicole vs. Life
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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