I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The best revenge is premature balding
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
