Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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