i can't believe i had my finger in that
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
