the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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