This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
