He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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