The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize