hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
