mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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