She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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