After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
