"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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