i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
