Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
