I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
