I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
