I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
