Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
