So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
