Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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