Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
