he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
