Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
