question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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