All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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