They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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