mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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