i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
