She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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