it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
