No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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