I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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