Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
