Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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