I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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