my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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