she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We are two peas in an std pod
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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