Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
