One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize