So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
