Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
