You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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